Bruce House: More than a house

Bitter-sweet challenge

Brian Gallant, Capital Xtra!, November 09, 2001

There was a time when I liked the folks at Bruce House. And a time when I cursed them for getting me involved in the HIV Challenge.

You can't really know how challenging it is to take HIV meds every day until you've been prescribed to do so. On my first day, I got off to a bad start.

I woke up at the usual hour, followed my regular morning routine, and as I prepared for a busy day ahead, I glanced over to the clutter on the kitchen counter - all 16 bottles of pills for my 51 pill-a-day regime. It had slipped my mind entirely, and the clock ticked away in the background as I hastily sorted the first batch of 23 pills for the day.

Afraid to make an error, I cross-referenced the pills with my med chart only to realize that I had forgotten to separate those I had to take with food, and those without. I made coffee and went through the sorting process all over again.

I swallowed one pill after another as I read the paper, some so large and distasteful I nearly gagged. I popped a few bread slices into the toaster so I could take the last remaining pills with food. Before heading off to work, I sorted my midday meds and finally walked through my office door - two hours late.

51 pills may sound a little extreme for most people living with HIV, but the challenge was meant to recreate the simplest of realities for people living with HIV/AIDS, learning to take your medication. It was not an easy or pleasant experience.

By the end of the 7-day challenge, I ended up running out of painkillers, which means I could have easily overdosed if it weren't for the fact that all my pills were just candy. I couldn't stomach the Diflucan, an anti-fungal drug, so I stopped taking it and lied to Bruce House about it. And over the weekend, I missed several doses scheduled for morning, midday, evening and night. Out of the 357 pills prescribed, there were 16 pills left over at the end of my challenge.

It was a long week that played havoc with my routine. Forget for a moment the side effects such as nausea, vomiting and insomnia caused by toxic drugs like 3TC, Abacavir and Cerit or protease inhibitors like Crixivan and Kaletra. The first real challenge was integrating meds into my daily schedule, remembering to take them and worrying about whether or not I did take them, putting aside those to take with food, and eating when I wasn't hungry so I could take my meds at the right times. I think I failed miserably.

It's a matter of life and death for those facing the real challenge. They've all experienced the frustration of adjusting physically and emotionally to their regime. They know all too well about med errors, the fear and consequences of these errors, and how taking meds is a distasteful reminder of its underlying cause.

In reality, the real challenge is the toxicity of today's treatments, which cause side effects and opportunistic infections that require even more medication. And even though many people report improvements in their quality of life, their reality for life is being caught in a game of Russian Roulette. My reality - for just one week - was to eat candy.

I love those folks at Bruce House.